after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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