I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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