my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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