i may or may not be watching the land before time
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
