i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
