I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
