Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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