My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
