My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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