I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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