She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
