I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
