You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
