Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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