I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
