Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
