"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
