And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
