I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
