drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
