Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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