she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
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