Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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