Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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