no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My ass is underappreciated
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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