hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
