I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
