I just pynch a tree in the face
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
