Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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