i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
