You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
