Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
