I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
