I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
