You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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