well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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