I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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