Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
