OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
