the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
