is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
do herpes really smell.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
