I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
