Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
