Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
