Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
The Olympian is in my bed
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
