i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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