Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
