Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i wish my penis had a tongue
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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