is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
