Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I wish I only lived at night.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
